A little sorry and thanks

I am in the difficult situation. I just want to make everyone happy. But in progress, I often make someone feel as an outsider which I tried to get rid. I don't know what to do. I want myself to be happy and at the same time everyone else too. I feel bad if someone else feel awkward, uncomfortable with me.

I"m stuck in the middle of old me and new me. I've been in this comfort zone for 5 years. No one feelings to look after except for my friends, parents. But now I have this new person in my life which I should think of too. Unfortunately, I don't know how. I'm sucks in it. I tried to work on it but it doesn't take a night to see the changes. Everything is still too early. I'm sorry u have to tolerate and bare with this kind of attitude. I'd told u from the beginning that what u see is the only sweet-friend-side of me. Not the real cranky, grumpy, stubborn, selfish me. I really am feel bad for u. U don't deserve this u know.

I never complaint about all those time we spent together but u keep picking it on me and making me regret sometimes. It seems like u didn't appreciate the effort I'm putting in us. I know that it is not much an effort from me if it's to compare with what u did or what u work on us. Believe me, I want to put more but let me just do it on my own way. No pressure. No forcing. Just try to keep it up with me. I can't do all of this if u can't try to understand and support this. I know u said million times that u understand and u are not forcing me in doing anything. But most of the times i just feel like u do. U keep putting pressure on me. Sorry for feeling this way.

All I need is a little patience in u. And thank you for still be there taking up on my temper and childish attitude which when I do, I seldom think of how u felt.